Party like it's 2011

Today we're going to Zander Cheap's 2nd birthday party. I frequently call my son, Aleksander, Ksander for short. He doesn't call himself Nano anymore, but he calls himself Ananada Mipole. He calls daddy Mipole Roba, brother Kikodai Gegy and me Mama Dynn (close, but I don't mind that he doesn't call me Dara). Although he doesn't have all of the consonant sounds down, if you know our names you understand that he knows the names well. So, when I told him we are going to Zander's birthday, he tried to tell me it was HIS birthday and that HIS full name is Zanda Mipole Cheap. We had to correct him, but now he knows his full name: Ananada Mipole Shepi (Shefchik). I realized today also that he can recognize all numbers 1 - 10 except 6 and 9. We're making progress, and it is fun because he understands the ages of his friends and what happens to their age during a birthday party.

This is our 5th birthday of the year already and it's still January. We kicked off the year with Julia and Waylon's 3rd at the Alaska club pool. Julia and my son's dads work together, the kids go to daycare together, have sleepovers, and they will probably go to kindergarten together. I like to watch them play because they can have a lot of fun together. So, this month: Julia 3, Waylon 3, Nikolai 1, the birth of our left photographed friend Amanda's (Slate 0), Zander 2. I photographed my 3 friends in their 3rd (Amanda), 2nd (Bobbi), and 1st (Seneca) trimesters 2 months ago. They didn't plan this; it just worked out this way. Our playgroup of around 4 (5 with Niko) is doubling fast! In the next few months (just kids considered) we'll have middle Bobbi's child's birth and her son Arthur's 3rd, on right Seneca's birth and her son Cedar's 3rd. Julia's big brother William will turn 5 (can't believe that). And with our other close friends Loda and Hilary (who we don't see as much because they have real jobs) will be celebrating Morgan 4 / Riley 1 and Ayla 3 (and you said it . . . Hillary will have a baby too). These are just the Alaskans; don't get me started on the rest. So, here's to another busy spring of births and birthday parties. I swear that whoever didn't have a baby last year is having one this year. It must be in-style or our biological clocks are ticking or something. Let's not forget Amanda's Jade who will be 4 this year. Thank you, Jade, for giving us something to celebrate between August and December. I can't believe you are the only one with a birthday in the last half of the year!

January 24

Happy First Birthday to the sweetest little man I've ever known.

You've brought me, your dad, and brother so much happiness and joy every single day.

Here's to another sweet year.

"The Works"

I've made a vow to never go on vacation between January 15 and February 15. For three years now, during this time, my toddler's been sick, sick, sick. 5 day high fever in Belize at age 0 (kept us off our private island paradise: Southwater Caye), his first vomiting virus at age 1 (just after his brother's birth), and now "the works" at age 2. "The works" is a virus that includes vomiting, high fever, running nose/eyes/butt, swollen face, persistent phlegm cough, and ear infection. I guess strep, bronchitis, and pneumonia bacterial infections aren't present (at least yet), but those are all killed by antibiotics. We just have to wait this one out. Little brother, who turns 1 in only 3 days, looks just like his brother did 5 days ago (glassy eyed and hot and cold and sweaty). So, containing the toddler to only the den and his bedroom apparently didn't work 100% but maybe the baby will still fight it off with the help of my milk's antibodies. I can tell the boys really miss each other, after being separated all week. In passing, they say "hi," put on big smiles, and giggle.

Anyway, maybe next year will be better. Last year was the year of cold viruses. 7 I think we had before the baby was born. This is not surprising for a son just weaned from mom, first daycare exposure, and a pregnancy. This year is the year of flu viruses. Just a month and a half ago the toddler, then I, then the baby each had 7 days of a really, really nasty stomach bug. Lucky dad was on nightshift during most of the process and avoided it. It was so bad one night I called my father-in-law and asked him if he could watch the kids because I had barfed so much and was so dehydrated I couldn't get off of the floor without falling back down. I've never had to make an emergency call out before, but he was happy to do it. It could be because we opted not to get vaccines this year or simply because I've been using the daycare more because school's been busier for me. In any case, it's good to build immune response. Just for kicks, I think we'll get vaccines next year. Keeps the CDC in business and gives us a littler high body burden of mercury if nothing else.

But, I think this will be the norm for the next 17 years or until we move somewhere much warmer. Colds and flus are correlated with the number of hours spent indoors. And at -40F we don't really get out at all. If you take a look at the families with 2 or more kids who are close in age or even with one kid in daycare (play a lot together and with the same things), sickness is a big part of life.

355 Days

Look who's turning ONE in only ten more days:

R.I.P. Scooter

I didn't mention it, but we actually had 3 deaths in the family this fall. I think it's worth mentioning because I think the last death was my paternal grandmother's back in 2004. I often wish I had known my grandma Mabel at this time in my life as I am old enough to value more the stories she could have told me and her sewing talents. But, I am happy we have some of her embroidery work and also some bibs and quilts that she made to cherish and use for my boys. My mom says Mabel always thought I was going to have a girl. The Kvasnicka's are overwhelmingly boys. I guess she was wrong about that or else I am in for a surprise!

Anyway, this fall first my paternal aunt had a heart attack. I was able to attend the gravesite memorial at riverside cemetery because I happened to be visiting MN in August after it happened. And then my maternal aunt's husband had lethal pneumonia. And then, the part I didn't mention, my second cousin (my dad's 1st . . . actually his wife is my dad's 1st) had a stroke in a deer stand out behind my parents' house. He made his way back to the house, my dad brought him to a local hospital, they airlifted him to a larger one, where his outlook was great, but he ended up passing away 2 weeks later in the hospital after having seizures. His funeral I was also able to attend; it was beautiful and humorous Catholic ceremony as he had quite the sense of humor. His family spoke fondly of deer-hunting, an annual tradition for many of the Kvasnicka men to travel to my parents' place to camp and hunt, eat and play dice, saying he passed away doing one of the things he loved most.

I learned during my last visit to MN that my great grandfather Joseph passed away in the hospital shortly after his horse ran over him while he was working in the fields just left of the tan shed you see behind my son. A friend Gunner Hedberg brought him in to the hospital (my dad learned of this only several years ago when Gunner's wife Arlene (both gone now) came out to pick blueberries at my parents' place). And shortly after his death, my great-grandmother Mary left the rural farm to work in the twin cities, where she became the nanny for the Dayton family. The Dayton family started the Minneapolis-based Dayton's, one of the leading department stores in the U.S. for nearly a century. You probably know them now as Dayton (merged with Hudson) = Target. Anyway, I presume when my grandmother left, the homestead's (house built in 1914) ownership left the family for a short time. I also learned that my grandfather Carl's, who continued to farm there, brother Felix (prior to founding O.K. Construction) also tried to homestead the land at the south end of my parents' property (where my parents' log cabin stands), but without luck. Mom and dad, please comment, correct, and add anything I relayed incorrectly.
Anyway, you never know when is the last time you're going to see somebody on earth. My friend Lisa was telling me the other night that this past fall she went to visit her 4 healthy grandparents. During the visit, she audio recorded stories that they told to her. The next week, her grandfather had a stroke and died.

This was my toddler's last walk out to see his grandparents' horse Scooter. He didn't know any of the family members I spoke of whom passed away recently, but he knew the horse. Scooter's is the first death in "his" family, and I have a feeling it's going to be quite a while before he forgets him. But, I am sure he will forget eventually unless we keep his memories fresh. My first grandparent passed away, Carl, when I was 2 also, and I do not have any memories of him.

My maternal grandfather, Edwin, I remember passing away at my young age of 5. I remember people breaking a window because it wouldn't open (I didn't know why at the time) to get fresh air into the Duquette hall where he had a stroke. I remember wondering why is grandma not crying but my mom is and I remember my grandmother being upset that they would not let her ride in the ambulance. I remember, as a shy child, being most upset that my parents left my side and state of MN Senator Becky Lourey, a family friend, picked me up and held me instead. Prior to that day, I remember my grandfather sitting in his chair after church on Sundays, when we went over to their house for lunch. He called me "Schnicklefritz," a name I think scandinavians often give to young children of whom they are fond. I remember my grandparents had a small trampoline in the living room. I put a piece of paper onto the trampoline and drew a rainbow on it with a pencil, which left perforations because of the mesh of the trampoline surface. (I must have done this more than once to remember it so well). I asked my grandfather to punch out the rainbow, which he happily did. He played the accordion too. My grandparents were great polka dancers, and most of my memories of my grandmother who passed away about 10 years later of cancer surround her dancing and her photography and her amazing ability to find family connections and make friends wherever she went. My aunt Laurie, her youngest daughter has this same talent with people.

Enough thinking back for now. The baby has awakened. But, I think it may be time to take another trip out to the East Coast to see some family.

Be Two Boys + Harley

"Be two boys," my two year old says. He likes when daddy carries two boys down or up the stairway together and always requests it. He knows it is only a "daddy" thing because there is no way mom could carry the dense, stout, and quickly growing two year old with only one arm. He must be close to 40 pounds and the baby 20. These two boys adore each other. They make each other laugh hysterically when I'm shopping and they are bored. One will rub the other's head, hug, and offer a toy as consolation for a cry. Here is a description I wrote while watching them the other day: "Baby tosses water cup down. Toddler, "I kean dat up. I kean up dirties. STOP making mess, baby Kiko. STOP. Mommy, baby Kiko keeps making mess." Toddler cleans water, whacks the baby's tray with the washcloth, and takes a moment to "cut" his brother out the highchair with his toy chainsaw. Baby laughs hysterically."

These two boys are growing up so quickly. I feel like each day goes more quickly than the one before. My husband has been on nightshift all week, working all night long and sleeping all day, and I've barely noticed. We have breakfast with him in the mornings, usually oatmeal the toddler's current favorite. He makes me coffee, does the dishes if I wasn't able to get to them the night before, and even stops at the store if we don't have something we would like to have. Baby, I LOVE YOU. Thanks for taking such good care of the 3 of us and helping me out! You are truly the best.

Anyway, every week we've been running around doing this and that and possibly that is what helps to pass the time so well. At the pool, for my toddler's good friend Julia's birthday party, the toddler impressed me by swimming independently of me the entire time. I guess those swim lessons with dad this fall really paid off. He had floaties, but still he was not afraid to kick by himself or jump off the edge or to simply not be with mom. It was liberating for me to have a stress free pool experience (and baby was with me too). In addition, he pronounced his friend's name, "Julia," after having called her "Ju juey" so cutely for probably an entire year. He calls her brother William "Wheel wheel." He also said clearly, "That's really neat" last night. He has always been a talker, much more than we'd like, but is barely is understandable half of the time. When he adds new consonants to his vocabulary or self-corrects a word he had adopted in place of the true one for months, I am stunned.

We went to North Pole library's story time today, for the 4th time in about 4 months and my boy was the star of the show. He clapped during "B.I.N.G.O," and stomped during "If you're happy and you know it," waved his fingers and tickled his nose and everything else Ms. Tina, his teacher for 30 minutes, asked him to do. In addition, he answered all of her questions including recalling details from a book she had just read, that he'd never seen before. Details that I couldn't recall, like which snowman had wheels for ears (boy) and a strawberry for a nose (dad) and fish for eyebrows (cat) and on and on. My boy may not know his ABC's, but I realized today that he is as smart as a whip. Dad's rolling his eyes as he reads because he knew it all along. I told grandma Linda and she said she never doubted he would be brilliant. Still, his favorite part is the end of the story/song time, where we move over to the tables and do a craft. Today, he made a snowman out of cotton balls. Wednesday he made the crown above. Baby brother gets a kick out of this library time also. It's nice that they offer such a great experience for small kids for free each week.

As the baby crawls into the cupbard, playing with empty mason jars, I should brag of him too. A bit ago, I forgot to put the gate up at the bottom of the stairs and he made it half way up before I caught him. Bad mommy. He claps his hands now. He cries for "ma ma" and happily says "da da." He tells me by putting his fingers together and apart (sloppily) that he would like "more" food. He's getting his front top two teeth to match the bottom two that are finally all the way in. He needs his first haircut. He got his first pair of walking shoes the other day and can cruise in them and also take them off with ease. He is doing just great. I hope he doesn't walk for a few more months. He crawls quickly enough.

I realized last night that I hadn't taken notice of the dog (albeit letting him out to defecate and subsequent food) for probably several weeks, maybe months. So, I let him sleep in our bed, on my husband's side, with the baby last night. And I'm letting him nap on the bed with my husband now. Poor Harley. He was our "first" and he is so neglected. I will make some time to love him each day . . . at least until summer when we are busier yet and he can play outside.

My mom just informed me that the elder of their two horses died of old age this morning. He would eat treats, but not drink, and because he would not get up the weight of his organs hastened his deterioration and they had to put him down. She asked me to break the news to my son in little people terms as he is fond of his two toy horses that represent their Scooter and Buck. I wonder if he will understand what I am trying to say or if I will even attempt it.

Happy New Year!

How did WE bring in the New Year?

ALASKA STYLE! French toast dinner with friends followed by a mad race to find a parking spot on the west side of Fairbanks. There we were, sipping hot cocoa from the coffee cart, four small kids bundled up. The two boys were tossing chunks of snow and kicking them like soccer balls, falling head-first into the snowbanks and giggling. White steam billowed from their mouths.

BABOOM! The fireworks began. The independent toddler girl, age two, sitting adorable on her mommy's lap refused to watch them. The two boys were mesmerized, and the baby was so bundled he couldn't move but had eyes locked on the lights in the sky. Snowmachiners, bikers snuck in behind us to catch the colorful sight. OOOHs, AAAAhs, and screeches of children.

All this, and I didn't have my camera.